Ceilings of Our Own Creation

     I have given it much thought these days about the ceilings I have placed in my life.  Actually while I was in Rome and Pompeii the ceilings just blew me away.  I did spend some time researching the ceilings of Rome, only discover very little on why they felt compelled to create such masterpieces at every single church I went into.  Now that I am at home I'm going to try and create some kind of impact on my own ceilings--just for fun.
 

 I've often wondered how long I could have contemplated the ceilings there, yes even laying down to make it easier.  I didn't see anyone laying on the floor however.  And the churches and buildings were so beautiful that ceiling staring was left to abbreviated periods of time.

     Lately I have thought about the ceilings I have put into place in my life.  Israelmore Ayivor stated, "There are no more ceilings over my dreams...They have no limits, they are limitless!  They are extra large."  Really?  My dreams are limited, because I prioritize people over any personal dreams, but having said that I still have left my dreams undone, put aside, or ignored emotionally.   I have actually put effort into making sure my regrets, of dreams unfulfilled, were dulled so they didn't bother me anymore or even forgotten totally.   I'm not asking for hugs from women who identify with what I have done, regretting their own choices, just because I've spoken into words their own feelings.   I am a dreamer, a optimistic dreamer, and I am often told I needed to be more realistic.   And so I have become more realistic and my ceilings are popcorn ceilings, low and white with no character, no imagination, no inspiration.  I have prioritized my life and have lived my life loving others.  I have no regrets about how I have lived, other then to say it is time to create loftier ceilings!

      I have so many ideas that need action steps, the problem is how to prioritize them, organize these action steps, create accountability for myself.  How to work the process so I take steps to complete at least one goal in creativity.  Writing this blog is that one step.  OK, so not many people read this blog, which doesn't matter at all, because it brings me pleasure, creates a feeling of finally stepping towards some creative process. 
      I read this quote from Holly Robinson, "Still, I wonder if more women artists, musicians and writers aren't household names because we don't have enough faith in our own pursuits to give ourselves the time we desperately need to be transformed by a creative vision.  Maybe that glass ceiling isn't really made of glass at all, but of sticky little fingers, dishes piled in the sink, and mortgages that demand two incomes."   I know for so many women, including myself, that we prioritize family, farm, and work above any further development of ourselves, but I hope to challenge anyone reading this to take the smallest steps for creative ceilings in your own lives.  The ceiling below is 2,000 years old.  Even then the people of Pompeii knew that some creative process was important and needed in their lives. 

Pompeii bath house.  Even 2,000 years ago they deliberately created beautiful ceilings!

This is the Pantheon.  The height and the sunbeam create a sense of real power.  The signs in the ancient building say to be quiet because it is a holy place.  

The Pantheon is a ancient building that still stands----powerfully!  It's ceiling isn't painted, but the design is known throughout the world as a wonder of creativity!  Real power comes from knowing who we were created to be, listening to the small still voice as He calls us to become the person he wants us to be.  I believe that we were created in His image and because He is a creative God we aren't complete unless we are creative.  Creativity takes many forms, cooking a incredible meal, green green lawns with defined beauty, understanding and talking to animals, or dappling in the arts!  I write this to spur myself on and hoping that others will take the time to discover who they are, to plan their lives so they can always recognize themselves in the mirror, and when they look up at the ceilings of their own creation they'll be inspired to be true to themselves.  Live life deliberately!

Lives lived deliberately still impact

     This was my second trip to Rome, the first was so inspiring!  The first time I saw the churches, viewed ancient history, the magnificent art, and the physical proof of all I had seen in books, I was in awe.  This time I felt empowered.  Empowered because I was ready to make my own personal changes.  The stories of the Catholic saints and spiritual leaders of history--viewing their history, reading their own words, seeing pictures of their faces at their resting places and reading about their lives at museums, I found myself challenged, not only because I want to change, but because their lives prove that living deliberately is infectious.

     When I was waiting for Pope Francis to give Mass, I spent time watching the people who were waiting.  It was pouring down rain with the wind blowing.  I must tell you it was so cold, but I was warmed by the smiling faces of so many who wanted nothing more then to hear from God.  Old and young nuns, old and young priests, women, children, grown men all smiling and excited to be there.  I was there with 10 others representing the United States Farmers Union family farms.  My husband had spent four days discussing with powerful spiritual leaders about Faith, Food, and the Environment.  We were there to create a dialogue for family farmers, but in that moment I was there for a far more personal reason.  I had just spent four days doing tourist things and was left with the intense feeling that I was about to embark on the next phase of my life.  It is time I threw away fear and insecurities and just worked through the ideas!  Ideas that keep coming to me at a maddening pace!

 

A Friar from North Dakota.

      I visited the Church of the Bones, a Capuchin crypt, at the Santa della Concezione die Cappuccini, and although I was not allowed to take pictures, I would recommend that everyone research and find pictures of this church.  The 3,700 priests who belonged to this order and whom after they had died and had been buried for five years, had their bones removed and placed in one of several tiny art chapels.  One chapel was made up mostly of leg bones, an other hips, one was made from the skulls of the priest.  The message very clear; life is short live it for God!
     I was once again reminded of the heart of people, their needs, their hopes and desires, and how much we are alike and yet uniquely different.  I am a forgiven sinner no less in need of a savior then they.  I am blessed beyond words for I have so much more then is necessary.  I was reminded of that fact over and over not only from the words of spiritual giants I was reading about, but from people begging from the street, unwanted by the norm.  I leave you with this promise; to write more of the power of my visit to Rome and Pompeii.   I also want to give you two photographic imagines that I took  on this trip that still haunt me.  One of a little girl who was sent by her mother to beg on the train I was traveling on and the second of two gay men, at mass, humbly bowing in prayer!

Jake's Legacy, Mine?

Goodbye Jake! Jake lived with us for 14 years.  His entire world was just loving on family.  As a Boxer he was a very large lap dog!   If he could he would have lived in my lap.  His place was on the couch right next to my chair!  His sole purpose was to do whatever made is family happy.  On walks he would always be close by, watching making sure I didn't get to far ahead or behind him.  When I walked into a room his whole body would shake with excitement.  Even my frustration with him always being underfoot never really persuaded him to leave the room I was in.  He came immediately when called, seldom did anything he knew he wasn't suppose to--(except he was a horrible puppy.  He chewed up everything in sight!)   I loved that dog, because he loved me!  But, he never had any original thoughts.  No other characteristics except loving his family continually.  

I do believe for most women our sole purpose is to love our families.  We serve them, we sacrifice for them, we give up unnecessary items we want, for them, and in time loose our own identity because of them.  We become our many roles.  We live through our roles, through our husbands, our childrens, even if we have work, that work, in many cases, is to support our love for the family, not because our jobs feeds a deep purpose within us.  I have a wonderful friend, who I believe has the gift of service.  Everyday she cares deeply for those around her.  She looks for ways to help serve not only her family but those whom she believes need her support.  Her sole purpose is to love and serve on her family and others.  She believes God wants her to serve.  And He does, however unlike Jake, she needs to find her uniqueness and allow herself the time to feed her uniqueness.  She needs to approach life deliberately and make room for her own development.  I don't believe that we should ignore our own created being!  It like tell God,  "I don't believe I'm worth the effort to develop myself."  Which is what we are telling him by totally ignoring who we are.  What is our passions?  How do we develop them?  How do we rediscover them?  Even the smallest action will empowers us!

I remember this day, I was visiting the Oregon beach with my brothers and sisters.  No-one else was there I felt humbled yet empowered because I suddenly knew deep down what my place was in the world.  When I first got married and moved to the farm, my father-in-law didn't believe women should be apart of working it, or for that matter, in on the decision making.  There really was nothing wrong with that belief, he had been taught that and it was his generation that believed women worked in the house,  take care of the children, and make meals.  I didn't really mind.   I loved being a wife and mother.  Spending the day with my children was the highlight of my life.  But I now realize I have other gifts too, and I can change the world with one deliberate act at a time.  

Put Your Bloomers On

     Thanks to a long distance friend, Brenda Velde, I purchased a pair of bloomers!  They were perfect!  I love being a rural women, celebrating my rural roots and acknowledging the power of women in rural communities.  I was able to wear my bloomers and express to a group of women recently at a Montana Farmers Union Women's Conference the importance of each of us recognizing our value.  Bloomers were first called for by a health periodical, the Water-Cure Journal, in 1849, because they wanted women to start wearing something that would not alter the wearer's organs as they were being pushed out of their normal placement.  The style of dress at the time was long heavy skirts that dragged two inches too long on the ground, made up of horse hair worked into the hem of the skirt, with a whale bone corset.  Bloomers came to the public in 1851 when a Amelia Bloomer, a temperance journalist started wearing them.  They were radical and scandalous, because they were believed to usurped male authority.  I Believe that all life, male and female, is valuable, and if wearing bloomers makes you feel valuable by all means put your bloomers on!

      Our farm is 102 years old, homesteaded originally by Ralph and Mary Weller and Leonard and Alvina Rutledge.  Through the years the family as added a few other 160 acres homesteads from families long gone.  There is one family that haunts me.  I do identify with her because I can touch what she touched.  I wonder what brought her joy, peace and wonder!   Their place is still visible if you want to see it.  The home's basement, the old farm equipment left on the prairie, the rock lined well still solid, and the rock piles!  The rock piles untouched for 100 years remain; proof of her existence.  An old neighbor of mine, who has since passed away, told me he remembered her because she would come over to his place when he was a boy.  His mother would take her in, because she had been "beaten to a bloody pulp"  by her husband.  She would stay at his home until she was healed and then she would return to her husband--this happened over and over.   The rock piles where hers.  Most of the rocks fit into the palm of my hand, small, yet I still know they were removed from the field by her hands.  

This one I picked up and it sits in my living room where it serves as a reminder to honor myself as well as His creation.

Alan picking up one of the small rock at one of the rock piles

The rock lined well.  It is incredible beautiful!

A plow is abandoned on the Montana praire next to the dug out basement of her home.   

   She probably felt she had no alternative.  Did she pick rocks because her husband made her?  Or did she pick rocks for peaceful solitude?  I think of her because I believe that life is meant to be lived deliberately.  If we just let life take us from one day to the next, never discovering who God intended us to be, if all we do is mirror the same activitiy day and after day, if we live from one weekend to the next never growing, never developing into the women we are intended to be we might as well pick rocks day after day.

     It's time for all agriculture women to put their bloomers on.  We have so much to contribute.

Ladies Put Your Bloomers On